


Is it gay-?

by President_Oberon



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Drabble???, Fellas is it gay, Gen, Is it gay to suck your own dick, Jim is gay, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 05:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12183474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/President_Oberon/pseuds/President_Oberon
Summary: Jim has a paradox that he wants solving.





	Is it gay-?

**Author's Note:**

> I literally wrote this in like fifteen minutes

"Is it gay to suck your own dick?"

Harvey Bullock almost spit out his coffee, the question catching him off guard as he was taking a sip from his mug. The old Irishman looked to his work partner of a few years, Jim Gordon. Jim had a perplexed look on his face, eyebrows knitting together and squinted eyes at the paperwork he held in his hands.

"What?" Harvey asked, blinking a few times.

"Is it gay, to suck your own dick?" Jim repeated, not looking up.

Harvey sat there for a second. He opened his mouth to answer, then stopped. Jim looked up as Harvey’s eyebrows knitted together this time and stared off at nothing in particular at his desk. He opened his mouth again, leaning forward in his chair, then closed it falling back.

"See- I have no idea either!" Jim exclaimed throwing his hands up, paperwork flying around. Jim didn’t even notice. Harvey bit the knuckle of his finger as he thought.

"If you suck a dick, then it's gay, but if it's yourself-" Harvey started slowly. 

"It classifies as masturbation which isn't gay." Jim finished. Harvey twirled his beard.

"Goddamn,” He muttered, “It's like a riddle."

Jim's eyes got wide as he stared at Harvey. Harvey finally caught on, and snapped his fingers, pointing at Jim.

"Bingo."

"Can you repeat the question for me?" Edward Nygma quirked an eyebrow at Jim and Harvey. They had come in with a rather peculiar question, and the tall nerdy man that worked forensics wanted to double check that he heard the detectives correctly.

"If you," Harvey pointed at Ed, "Suck your own dick." Harvey pointed at Ed's crouch.

"Is it considered gay?" Jim finished. Ed squinted at the men, but then you could practically see the gears turning in his mind.

"Well, it is because you have a penis in your mouth, but it isn't because you're pleasuring yourself." Ed pursed his lips.

"Fascinating-"

"What?" Jim asked.

"It's fascinating that I don't know the answer to this. It's a paradox, not a riddle." Ed shrugged, turning around to go back to his original work. Then something occurred to Ed, and he turned back around to the detective, a faint smile on his face.

"Now, Detective Gordon, it was you that first asked the question?" Ed asked. Jim nodded.

"Detective Gordon, how on earth would that question have come to you if you hadn't, "sucked your own dick"?" Ed was smirking wildly. Harvey turned to Jim.

"Yeah, that's a fair question Jim." Harvey said, he was starting to smirk too. Jim was starting to flush.

"I-I- uh- it's-" Jim began to stutter and he stopped himself before he could try to even finish his own excuse.

"I have paperwork that needs to be done." He said, turning on his heels and leaving the room. Harvey started laughing, Ed echoing him.

"Oh shit, I can't believe Jim Gordon sucks his own dick." Harvey said, wiping a tear from his eye. Ed grinned as he said his reply;

"Why of course he does, he can't find a girl to do it for him."


End file.
